This is most likely the shortest post I will ever write. And the whiniest. But these things need to be said, need to get out of my head and out of the way of my inspiration (and sleep).
Right now, I am simply frustrated. Frustrated by the newspaper. Frustrated with the Catholic Church and other opponents of free contraception for all. Frustrated with those against gay rights here in America and those against other human rights around the world. Frustrated with the state of the economy. And simply annoyed with politics– I’m tired of hearing about the election.
I’m angry with myself. I’ve let school become stressful because I get distracted too easily. I procrastinate like no one else, and need to fix that. I ignore my goals and slip right back into bad habits. I missed the deadline by a few hours on my first article for the student newspaper because I didn’t start working on it the second I got the lead. Of course, they still haven’t released the issue with that article in it, which adds to this mass of aggravation. And I’ve missed my personal blogging deadline.
I’m tired of putting effort into people and places that don’t return the favor. I’m tired of being told I’m too young, I’m too female, I’m too easily offended, I’m too hyper, too tired, too passionate, too quiet, too me. I’m tired of bothering other people for rides, tired of depending on other people for things I should be able to do myself– I’m not patient enough right now to appreciate the fact that soon that won’t be the case.
And right now, the most frustrating thing in my life is the fact that I can’t even open the window to get some fresh air and clear my mind. Because if I do that, it will simply get hotter in my dorm, though the heat is already on full blast.
This delightful cup of spiced chai tea is helping. And so is the Partridge Family (thank you, Pandora). A deep breath, a good night’s sleep. Things will look better in the morning.
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I’m reading the book, “one thousand gifts”, by Ann Voskamp. It is helping with my own perspective!
You are fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s own image. You were (carefully and purposely) knit together in your mother’s womb. It’s ok to be the woman God intended you to be, and pleasing people is not important… I am also a student, I am also struggling… One day at a time!! Just do better TODAY. Let go of the things that are distracting you and keep your focus. I know it’s hard, I’m right there with you. Keep your focus on the only One who matters, and He will make your way clear! I’m praying for you.
Thank you ladies. I feel much better today. I really appreciate the support 🙂
So what you are saying is you are a beautifully flawed human like the rest of us! Keep working toward your goals and most importantly learn to be kind to yourself. No one is keeping score…
I have to remember that. I always forget that I’m really the only applying pressure in these situations, even if school and society seem like it’s their job. Thank you.